My Mom: no, I’m ugly. The ugliest. I’m a horrible pig of a person
Other people: (to me) you look just like your mom
Me: so I’m ugly
Now:
My 9 year old: mom you’re beautiful
Me: thank you! I don’t always see it very well in myself though because my brain lies to me a lot and tells me I’m ugly even though I’m not. But I can’t be ugly because we look a lot alike and you’re beautiful. My brain is just a bully
My kid: that’s right! We’re BOTH beautiful!
Me: yes we are!
_____
And that my friends is called thinking about how your self depricating words can hurt other people around you. I can’t see that I’m beautiful most of the time but I can acknowledge that the issue is my ability to see myself in a positive way.
But calling myself ugly just hurts the people who love me. It could even convince my kid that they are also ugly and further the cycle
And sometimes it’s really hard just by saying “I’m being mean to myself because my brain lies a lot matters
My daughter: “mama, your belly is chubby.”
Me, internally: ouch
Me, out loud: “well, yeah! Because I am chubby! But also because I grew TWO WHOLE BABIES in it, and that stretched it out a bit!”
My daughter, in the most encouraging tone possible as she reaches up and pets my belly: “it did SUCH a good job.”
And y'know what? Hell yeah it did. #rockon
Thanks I cannot fathom loving myself or why anyone would love me so that’s impossible
Honestly? That’s how I felt for a long time myself. But depression and mental illness is a lying bitch.
I am where I am with being able to accept love and love myself thanks to a LOT of fucking therapy and 9 years of constant work to improve my self image and work on my mental health. Now even when I have a bad day I don’t hate myself the same way. And bad days are rare
I know it feels hopeless and what I’m saying sounds like bullshit. But deciding you are sick of hating yourself and seeking help is worth it. It’s scary and you might be skeptical (I was) and therapy might piss you at first (oh God it did for me) but it’s worth it
God it’s so worth it when you can look yourself in the mirror and see someone who deserves kindness and love and then be able to give that to yourself
I sincerely hope you get the help you need and are able to heal.
watching an episode of chopped and in the final round they asked one of the contestants what she would do with $10k and she said “I have student loans to pay off” and one of the judges said “don’t spend the money on student loans. do something to enrich yourself–travel, take a class, visit 50 restaurants, that is worth so much more than paying off the debt” and I just
what kind of privileged rich dude BULLSHIT is that I s2g
he ought to pay off my student debt just for making me listen to that fuckery
“Take a class”
Bitch I took several that’s why I have student debt
olaf is the prime example of a genuinely bad character who did a few good deeds in his life and doesnt get redeemed because of it. the baudelaires did not mourn for him. they buried him because to them, they felt thats what they should do. they still hated him. count olafs ending is not an excuse to crown him your “uwu precious angel who was misunderstood.” he is a bad person who had a few good moments. dont romanticize his abuse of the baudelaires just because he carried kit to the island.
I think they buried him because watching a corpse decompose is traumatizing and unhygienic. Plus it would not smell good at all.
Burying him was more their gift to themselves than any commentary on his worth as a character.
we’re gonna have to start eatin hard cheese and cured salted meats again to try to dodge badly inspected food like just go ahead and give me a set of leather armor and send me on a quest if you’re so set on returning us to darker times
There are several paragraphs describing beloved fictional characters’ chest hair.
Slytherins are Catholics.
Petunia wears pant suits.
“Aunt Petunia smacked her hands over Harry’s young ears; and her voice was sickly sweet when she said, “Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your religion, he has science and socialism and birthdays. “
Reblog if you don’t need religion because you have science socialism and birthdays
My cats understand and will obey a number of verbal commands, one of which is “go away”. I don’t use it often, but if they’re bugging me and I’m trying to work or doing something that could be dangerous for cats, I can tell them to go away, and off they go - they’ll only keep pestering me if there’s a serious problem they need me to look at.
That said, their idea of a serious problem that requires my attention is somewhat eccentric. Previous instances have included:
There was an unfamiliar car parked across the street
Their water bowl was four inches to the left of its usual position
One of them had puked on the stairs and they didn’t want to walk past it
It was raining
One of them saw a weird bug
These are all very important things that required your attention. They’re doing a good job.
Dogs really aren’t much better. I teach all my dogs the command “show me”. How it works is if the dog needs something but I’m having trouble understanding what exactly they’re trying to tell me, I say “show me” and they lead me to whatever the problem is. Usually they lead me to a real problem (like a toy that got stuck under the couch, their water bowl is empty, etc). But sometimes they want me to fix things like this-
They pulled the covers off my bed and now they want me to put the covers back
They put their ball on top of the ottoman but the ottoman won’t throw it for them
The cat is sleeping and won’t chase them
A flower fell off the potted plant
The cat is sitting in a box and they don’t like it
One of them lost their bandana
The cat won’t take the toy they’re trying to give her
The cat DID take the toy they gave her and now they want it back
I feel like a good 25% of the messages I receive are people performing social charity. basically social charity is a term I just made up referring to when people say something nice to a marginalized group member, not out of kindness, but in order to feel good about themselves. Like when people call someone with a physical disfigurement “so beautiful!” even though they dont really believe that. or when they tell an overweight woman that performs hyper femininity that she’s “so confident!” as if she isn’t supposed to be. some examples of messages I’ve received like this are when people tell me I’m “so brave” as if I have to be brave as a passable trans woman. or when someone told me “you’re so beautiful! one day you’ll find someone that’ll love you!” when I’ve had a boyfriend since my 4th month on hrt. generic messages like “keep fighting!” “no matter what people say, you are beautiful” & “stay strong!” are all token messages of positivity that cis people give to lgbt people out of the assumption that all of our lives are just like whatever the last lgbt tear jerker they read or watched & its never prompted by a specific event in that persons life but rather solely by their identity. its ingenuine & i’m not flattered by it.
btw its totally okay for cis people to reblog this
